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Categorie: Crispreviews

Tyrrells Hand-Cooked English Crisps: Veg Crisps by Bannie

Once again I get confused at this crisp brand. Please divine crisp lords in the sky tell me, why do crisp brands make de names for their flavours so unbelievably long?

Before we start the review I will tell you the mood I was in: it was on the day we (me and Captain Cane) came back to Amsterdam after playing Fringe 2018 and I was certainly feeling good! I met up with some friends and we had a couple of drinks and after that a little old fashioned Dutch peace pipe filled with hashish. Tired and a little stoned I arrived home. Hungry, as you can imagine. I needed something to munch on. And then I remembered that I brought some crisps home with me from Edinburgh: these Veg crisps consisting out of beetroot. I hate beetroot! But they are also made out of carrot, and I do like carrot. And they are made of parsnips, to which I am fairly indifferent to.

I opened the bag and the smell of beetroot overtook me. Not a good start. However, I actually enjoyed the smell now, especially because it was mixed with some salt! The taste was wonderful! I actually enjoyed these crisps! A little too much even. Maybe it was my stoned brain or maybe these are just amazing crisps. By the way, do not get scared if you have beetroot red doodoo the next day!

Rapid Roundup
Smell: Beetroot with salt, good
Taste: A little sweet and salt combo, very good

Texture: a little dry but crunchy, could be improved

£2,30 for 125g  that is £0,02 a gram

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Five Cheese & Onion crisps by Bannie

Welcome back to the reviews, a busy little cripple comedian like myself can be swamped after preparing an Edinburgh Fringe show. However, we are back with a review straight from Portobello, Edinburgh, where we have placed our cane rack during this year’s Fringe.
Just like last year, we have taken it upon ourselves to review multiple different brands of one flavour of crisps. Last year we did salt & vinegar, this time around we will test another British classic: cheese & onion! SPOILER: during the testing of these crisps I realized something important! I do not particularly care for cheese & onion crisps.  However, let us get started!
Mackie’s of Scotland: Cheddar & Onion Thick Cut Crisps
Good old Mackie’s, the crisp of independence, the so-called perfect companion to a scotch ale. These thick cut crisps are only that: thick and bland. It may be that they placed lightly salted crisps in this bag by accident but the cheddar and the onion were nowhere to be found!

Rapid roundup:
Smell: faint
Taste: bland
Texture: thick (I like the thick stuff) 
150g for £1,70 that is £0,011 a gram

Morrison’s The Best: Mature Cheddar & Onion Crisps
Our nearest supermarket here next to the rack is a Morrison’s and a big one at that. I personally like those, although they do not have the most varied selection of crisps.
If you weren’t offended yet by this review let me get to that now. Mature cheddar?! What the actual flying bison! Dear Brits, Cheddar is not a cheese, it is an insult to Gouda, Parmesan, Brie and Feta! These crisps taste like old socks, and no onion to be noticed! This is not a good crisp and definitely not ‘The Best’.
Rapid roundup:
Smell: too smelly
Taste: yuck
Texture: a little on the flaky side.
150g for £1 that is £0,006 a gram 

Tesco Finest: Mature Cheddar and Onion Crisps
Last year we were positively surprised by Tesco finest Sea Salt & Cider Vinegar. This year not so much. Yes, cheese is salty, we know this! However, a good cheese has some tang, a little sweetness to it. However, this is lacking in this crisp, and a true shame if I might say. We do taste some onion in these but it is too faint to play a major role in the pallet of the crisp.
Rapid roundup:
Smell: oniony
Taste: too salty
Texture: nice and crunchy.
150g for £1 that is £0,006 a gram 

Walkers Sensations: Cheddar & Chutney Crisps
Okay, I hear you mumbling to yourself “Chutney?! Chutney is not onion!” And this is correct, however, this is an onion chutney. This is probably the best buy for your buck. They are a tiny bit expensive but the onion and cheddar are working very well together. You taste actual cheese in this and the chutney is a little spicy. It’s a nice way of preparing a classic.
Rapid roundup:
Smell: like a cheese board with some onion next to it
Taste: spicy but with little tangy sweetness to go about it
Texture: not too crunchy, could be better. 
150g for £1,85 that is £0,012 a gram

Kettle: Mature Cheddar and Red Onion Crisps
Kettle is expensive, we know this. Furthermore, they are a little posh, a little bigmouthed. One of the fist things I noticed on this packet was a little line of text in gold letters that says: ”No artificial substances used” My question: who are you kidding? Your crisps are shipped in a bag lined with artificial aluminum foil. But let’s get on with the review. Maybe they should have used some artificial flavors, because these crisps are bland.
Rapid Roundup:
Smell: Sock like
Taste: faint and slightly bitter
Texture: crispy.
150g for £1,99 that is £0,013 a gram 
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Chio Kettle Cooked: Sour cream and (spring) Onion by Bannie

Chio Kettle Cooked: Sour cream and (spring) Onion by Bannie
One of the crisps that got barely any attention in our poll for chips I should review in 2018 was Sour Cream and onion, a personal favorite of myself, but apparently not in your top 5.
That is okay we (you) clearly make mistakes sometimes! Something else entirely is that a friend of mine has asked me at least a bazillion times to review the Chio Kettle crisp line. So I thought why not combine the two the Chio Kettle with the sour cream and apparently Chio thought the same thing, so…. here we are!

Smell wise these crisps our a little to much fat compared to the sour. The Packet will tell you that these crisps are extra crunchy, however, stale is not crunchy and these crisps were hard from staleness, notting else. the flavour was sour like a glass of rotten milk.

In short these crisps are not woth the money you spend.

€1.49 for 150grams that is €0,009

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AH Excellent: Red Curry & Koriander by Bannie

Sometimes you find a “golden ticket” a wonderful moment in time and space that nobody could have expected. I remember this one time a found 30 euro’s on the ground, a true golden ticket moment. After that experience it was back to my dull, normal grey, depressing live. Until last Sunday when I discovered an amazing crisp.

Red curry a classic at every Thai restaurant and coriander an couple like Beyonce & Jay-Z, Netflix & Chill and Captain Cane & Brace Boy.

The smell is that of a cold but still tasty bowl of curry. Texture wise it is a normal crunch but the taste is pure Thai bliss and the most amazing thing of all? One will really taste the coriander in this Crisp.

€0.0099 for every gram (150 grams €1,49)

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Albert Heijn: Peanut flips by Bannie

It has been awhile since I have been writing to you, maybe you have forgotten about me and my crazy obsession with crisps. However I have not forgotten to write a review for this the first wednesday of 2018. Crispy new year all.

To write this review I needed to go back to the sixth of December, the day I reviewed the Chio Emmentaler crisps. In this review I stated that peanut flips are an excellent combination. What I needed to establish now was how these ‘flips’ tasted on their own.  

When one opens the bag you smell stale peanut butter, it resembles the cent of the jar of the condiment that has been left open for a lifetime. The crunch reminds of the box foam fillings you used to get when you ordered a package. the flavour lacks salt, however it does taste like peanut.
The Chio Emmentaler was an extraordinary crisp it hid the disgusting taste of this horrendous crisp! a crisp so not special or interesting that you simply forget about its existence a little like the Dutch city of Almere.

0,005 a gram

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TartufLanghe: Truffle Crisps by Bannie

I made a horrendous mistake in almost all my previous reviews: I almost never gave my readers the gram to euro ratio of the crisps. From this review onwards I will start doing so.

The bag of truffle crisps I am reviewing this week was very small (only 45g) and the price was 3,25 euro. That’s 14 cents per gram (rounded up). Compared to the AH homebrand natural crisps, 200g for 0,89 euro (0,005 cent per gram rounded up), that’s quite high.

I love crisp brands that take themselves seriously. I can really understand and respect the product they sell then. TartufLanghe does this perfectly. When one opens the bag, the inside is gleaming gold color instead of the standard aluminium color. This gives a feeling of expansiveness and that adds to the experience.
The smell is strong of truffle. However, I later noticed on the ingredients list that they used freeze dried truffles. The smell might be a little too good to be true. The texture of the crisps was nice and crunchy and the crisps were exceptionally well sliced and big in size. The taste was musky, strong like the swines that are used to find the truffles. But after a couple of crisps it dawned on me… I missed something, an essential flavour: salt. The crisps became a little boring tastewise, so maybe it was alright that the bag was this small.


These crisps could still be served on a special occasion, maybe with a light sour cream and onion dip.
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Chio: Käseln Emmentaler Flavour by Bannie

A lot of crisps try to do something with cheese or at least cheese flavour. cheese and onion, cheese flavoured doritos, ham and cheese. But the crisp that gets reviewed today is just Cheese, and Swiss cheese at that.

The smell of the crisp reminds me of powdered Emmentaler I used to eat on crackers as a child. The crunch of this crisp is supreme it is an experience that envies the sights of the Musee du Louvre in Paris. This crisp has an amazing feature: it is made in the shape of a little bubble which means that you experience the astounding crunch twice for every bite! A feature not seen by me before. The taste is honest, it just tastes like cheese notting wrong or spectacular. To be totally honest these crisps are basically premade crackers with powdered Emmentaler. All the crisps are just a little small to which means that you keep on eating them to fill that soulless void you have between your ribs since you found out that Pokemon are not real.

If you want to make this great chip even  you should combine it with some Pinda flips, also known as my review of next week.

1 cent for each gram, 125 grams in the bag
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Pipers CO: Chorizo

On the 20th of September I tasted Lidl Chorizo crisps and it was horrible! A crisp-experience that will haunt me to the end of time. However I felt like I should give Chorizo flavoured crisps another chance and so I did with a slightly more quality brand.

The smell is musky like a dog that took a dive into a paprika soup. The texture is beyond believe. It is an amazing crunch that simply begs to to be eaten. And this crisp actually tastes far better than it smells. It does indeed taste like the chorizo sausage it is meant to taste like. Although the saltiness of the crisp takes over quite harshly, this means that the eater needs quite a lot of water to compensate. The flavour is like a strong smoked paprika and spicy spanish pepper. It takes your mouth over like a reconquista. This crisp is far better than the Lidl version and no, this was not a surprise.

150 grams in the packet for the price of €2,50.
€0,06 a gram

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Lisa’s Bio Kessel Chips by Bannie

In the world of a jobless crisp reviewer there are two types of crisps: the ones with generic flavours in big bags and the ones with exceptional flavours in mini bags. Exceptionally flavoured crisps in big bags are about as rare as a brown speckled wood hyena.

But these vegan, gluten free, in a kettle handcooked crisps are part of the latter group. A friend of mine brought them to me straight from a German shop. Therefor I cannot tell you what they may have costed but let us presume that just like all things vegan, handmade and gluten free it costs about as much as the virginity of your first born daughter.

While opening up the bag the smell is sour, but the good kind of sour. The smell reminds me of a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice, tasty stuff.
The crunch is… well, different. The texture of these crisps is a little oily and although the crisp is crunchy, it does not crack in the normal sense of the word. The crisp seems to bounce and you have to chew with force to get the normal crunch sound.

The taste is grand and the chili is nice and spicy like a good curry. At first the tangy lime takes over in a pleasant and fresh way. However, midway into the bag salt takes over and not in a good way. But the this is a tasty crisp nonetheless. The germans can be proud of themselves.


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Hi Tempura: Spicy seaweed By Bannie

I do like to review Dutch crisps. However, I love to review international, exotic crisps. And this week I review a crisp all the way from Thailand. I got this in the local Asian food store in my neighborhood. The type of store that sells only food, aside from moisture absorbing packets. You should not eat those! On the other hand, you can get cancer from walking out of your front door nowadays…

Let’s start with the review: the smell is strong, but does not have the essence of seaweed. Instead it smells like tempura shrimp, which is one of my favorite sushi toppings. When I put this golden brown and green crispy rectangle in my crisp hole I was astounded by the amazing texture. When I chewed the tempura it gave that ever satisfying feeling of a near perfect crunch and the dried seaweed tickles the tongue in a very subtle but pleasant manner.  But then an obscure amount of seaweed enters the scene, but does not have a leading role in the crisp. The leading flavour is taken by the spice. Maybe a little too much if I’m perfectly honest. I needed to take a sip of my drink after every bite to not get watering eyes.

You fly through this little snack in a pace that matches Usain Bolt in a hundred meter dash. And it is a little snack, only 40 grams in a bag. At this local Asian food store they sell these crisps for €2,25! Quite a steep price for such a small bag. This and the heavy overflow of spiciness is the reason I mark these seaweed treats quite low. However, I will look out for different flavours from the same brand to give Hi Tempura another shot.

What is your favorite sushi topping? Mine is tempura shrimp.

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